I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
