Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
