their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
