I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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