he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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