so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
