Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
