So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
