I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Green mimosas i think yes
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
