Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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