you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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