you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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