i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
