therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Randomize
