If i come over, it means nothing
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
