I could make wine with my vomit
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
