It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
