Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Randomize
