he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I'm experimenting with sincerity
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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