everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
No stitches, just platelets and will power
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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