dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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