My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
