; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
