You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
