the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
