i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
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