If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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