why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
