4 words: hood of his car
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize
