can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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