If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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