When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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