I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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