been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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