oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
