i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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