it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize