hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
