what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
