bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
