Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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