im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Randomize
