see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
