her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
