Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
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