I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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