soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
