can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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