i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
