Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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