Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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