i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
