The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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