Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
