What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Randomize