Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
