Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
