sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
