So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize