As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
