Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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