Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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