yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
