Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
You are a genius and a whore.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
