thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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