im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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